Meditations from my Life Mat
I would like to begin by saying a huge hearted THANK YOU to all that have helped support me and my family on our powerful journey, Dancing with Breast Cancer. All of your healing prayers, nourishing food made with such love, cards and gifts, and support of Two Rivers Yoga has made our path much easier and has allowed me to learn so much! One of the biggest lessons of my life has come from this time of darkness.Learning to RECEIVE with a fully open heart.
I am still in awe of this lesson. I really don’t think that any of us have been taught how to receive. It has felt so challenging at times, and has gifted me with sooo many epiphanies about how and why I have shielded myself from FULLY feeling all of the abundance in my life. I feel like a part of it comes from these old places inside that say ” it is always better to give, than receive” or the old tapes that asks ” are you a giver, or a taker?” “don’t be selfish”, ” “don’t be ungrateful” and on and on it goes…..
It is true, that I have dedicated my life to be in service of others, to help mend as many hoops that I consciously can. This life pledge has filled me up with so much passion for life and Spirit that at times my heart feels like it can’t possibly fit inside my human body for all of the joy that it contains! So what would I do?? Give as much of it away as fast as I could, leaving myself empty at times. Soooo sneaky and elusive! This dance has been very long one, and I have witnessed this in myself for many years. Truth be told, I have also witnessed it in the hundreds of people that I have had the had the privilege to work with on and off the mat. You and I are mirrors for each other.
I have begged and pleaded the questions to God of “HOW? How do I receive?How can I be in full service of others, and stay full of the Grace that I have been given? Please teach me.” The answer that has been given to me all along is “You are Light and you are Love, this is ALL you need to know.” BEYOND the intellect. This means tracking it, witnessing, feeling and seeing it every moment that we are breathing. From sun up to sun down, feel and breathe in that you are intimately connected to Spirit and there is no room or time for anything else. No excuses. And believe me I have wrestled with many, Cancer being one of them. This is a Lifetime Meditation. Believe me as sure as I have been that I finally “understand” this sacred message it has slipped away just as fast. Moment to moment meditation.
This is the “Light and Love Meditation” that leads me back to my mat. It is there where I learn so much about how to track or hunt it,how to get out of my ego, quiet the voices in my head, calm the stress in my life, discern what is B.S and what is truth, what is worth fighting for or putting down and where I begin to open my heart and fill it with sweetness and the joy for life that I have been GIVEN. That is right it is a gift, and it up to us to RECEIVE it. I must Breathe it in!!
If we don’t awaken to this lesson,then where have all of the prayers for us gone? (yes, people pray for you)Where is OUR Life’s purpose gone? Where will all of our potential for growth be? There will be nothing to fuel it. We MUST learn this Balance, Giving AND Receiving. It is when there is the balance, or the honoring of our own dual nature that we truly find happiness. Just like the Sun and the Moon, Light and Darkness, Yin and Yang, Daytime and Nighttime, Sadness and Happiness, Bitterness and Sweetness, Anger and Joy, the Inhale and the Exhale, so is Giving and Receiving. One without the other is limited in the fruits of what it can offer our Spirits.
As I am emerging out of my Bear Den from a VERY long and and intense winter, I hope to meet YOU on your mat! If you gone away, COME BACK! It is never to late, as this is a Moment to Moment opportunity. Whether I am teaching or on the mat as a student in our classes, I want to share this meditation WITH you. I am worth it and so are you. We are connected through Love & Light, witnessing and holding sacred space for this gift together is where we will make a difference in healing and mending, inside and out! Just Show Up!!
Our mat’s are waiting to teach us about how to live our lives, on breath at a time!
Namaste!
In Beauty, Love & Light,
Kelley Rush
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